J6 Rant and Glorious Memes!

[Plus, the ACTUAL truth about Q Anon]

America Almost Won on January 6

The good guys don’t always win. January 6 was one example. But you’re supposed to cry yourself to sleep every night thinking about that time the chickens almost came home to roost for The Uniparty. Bob Woodward paints the scene in his book Peril:

“They jumped over the racks and surged closer and closer to the Capitol, despite pleas from the officers.”

You may have seen several videos where officers are telling people “Come this way,” and “Please come in,” but you need to forget that.

Act as if it didn’t happen.

You need to forget the fact that John Sullivan, a federal asset and Antifa member, was baiting people to destroy property.

You need to cry about poor little Mikey Pence who was nearly hanged! They built a makeshift gallows!! Vote for me and I will [FEDPOST REDACTED] but for real and not in a fucking meme.

You need to cry about poor little Alexandria Ocasiwhateverbutispeakspanishbetterthanshedoeswhichiskindofembarrassingforher who wrote breathless prose about how she could have been violated (VIOLATED!!) by those horrible men.

Here’s actual footage of AOC being hunted by J6 patriots:

AOC lies a lot. Remember her photo shoot crying at the border?

You need to cry about the poor little Senators who almost died on J6. Here’s Bob Woodward again:

“They were hiding and crouched under tables. They barricaded the door and turned out the lights and were silent in the dark.”

Those poor defenseless public servants nearly had to face their employers 😱

“Accountability? Fuck that! Let us pillage in peace, peasant!”

I remember watching some of the J6 footage as it was happening, and I remember hoping the rioters would download EVERYTHING on Nancy Pelosi’s computer and release it to the public. We deserve to know what she has on her laptop.

But since it wasn’t a real riot—and certainly wasn’t an insurrection—none of the J6 patriots had any real plan. They were basically taking an unexpected self-guided tour of the Capitol.

That’s how you know all the claims are bullshit. If Trump voters had expected to take the Capitol, they would have done more than break a fucking window.

You stupid leftist assfucks.

“Paul Ryan Began to Bawl”

Check out this awesome shit from Peril:

“[Paul Ryan] and his wife Janna ‘were sickened and distraught’ over the violence toward officers and the desecration of the Capitol. Ryan looked up at the television again and watched the scene. He rubbed his eyes. My God, he said, catching himself by surprise.

The rioters kept shouting, climbing. Police officers were being hit with metal poles.

Ryan began to bawl.”

BAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

What a little bitch!

Share this with your friends so we can all laugh at Paul “I Am Gay” Ryan together:

Cry harder, Paul. Give me your tears. I need the tears of corrupt establishment rats. I drink them and they grant me eternal life.

“Waaahh! Why won’t they sit down and let us install our dictator? Why are they putting up a fight? WAAAAAHHHHH.”

After having a good cry, he called up Mike Pence and they did gay stuff together.

Violence Works

One major (and valid) criticism of Trump is that he let BLM burn American cities for an entire year because he thought it would be good for his campaign.

He was right.
It was good for his campaign.

But the morally correct thing to do would have been firebombing the BLM rioters.

Instead, all he did was tweet “LAW AND ORDER!!!”

As we learned during those “fiery but mostly peaceful protests,” violence works. We saw violent people get their demands met. We saw the police kneel before them. We saw the entire Democrat establishment tear itself apart because of a crackhead who tortured pregnant women and overdosed near a cop.

So rightwingers figured we could use violence to get our way.

If it works for the left, why can’t it work for us?

Oh right, because the left are the lapdogs of the swamp. Sorry, I forgot.

There’s this gay little saying among Republicans: “We’re the party of law and order.”

Dear naive Republicans: Law and order only work when you live in a high trust society.

America is not a high trust society. We have imported the entire third world. Soon we won’t be able to put our garbage cans on the side of the road because people will steal them.

If you think I’m kidding, I invite you to come visit my house in Oaxaca, Mexico, where people can’t use streetside garbage cans because someone will steal them. So everybody has to wait for the garbage truck to come, and then we throw our garbage in the truck. Yes, you personally have to do it. And if you’re not home when the garbage truck comes, your garbage will just fester for another week.

I’m comfortable in the third world, but most of you reading this aren’t. None of you comfy leftwing assholes is ready to live in Third World America. The more power the Democrats get, the more YOUR neighborhood will resemble Guatemala or Bangladesh.

But there’s an upside: When you live in a failed state, you can become the government if you have enough guns. Why do you think cartels run the show? Because they have all the weapons. (Watch the Tucker Carlson video again if you’re confused about this process.)

Congresswoman Elissa Slotkin, Traitorous Bitch

When George Floyd rioters were burning buildings and murdering people in 2020, Congresswoman Elissa Slotkin didn’t want the military to get involved. But when Trump voters broke a window after having an election stolen, she foamed at the mouth and screamed at Mark “BitchBoi” Milley to open fire.

“SHOOT THEM!!” she shrieked exactly like a banshee.

Fuck you, Elissa.

Vote for me and I will imprison Elissa Slotkin.

Luckily for us, she’s still under 50, unlike most of the other sellout fuckasses. Elissa will spend a long time rotting behind bars. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 It’s such a cozy thought that I have to include a few cutsie-poo emojis.

Her partner in crime, Lindsey Graham (who is gay), got hassled at the airport after betraying his country on January 6.

“Graham was shouted at and trailed by Trump supporters. ‘Traitor! Traitor!’ they screamed at Graham as he walked through the terminal, staring down at his phone.”

Yeah, staring down at his phone like a little weasel bitch. “Waaah, let me conduct my nefarious deeds in peace!!”

Congressman Adam Smith, Traitorous Bitch

Bob Woodward writes of the stupidly-named Adam Smith. No, not that one.

Adam is a congressman from Washington. Presumably Adam and Bob did gay shit together, and that’s why he’s featured in Peril.

Adam got on a plane from DC to Washington state and saw (gasp!) MAGA hats on the plane!!! The people on the plane talked about “ugly conspiracies” to steal the election from Trump. They talked about Q Anon, which…

[DIGRESSION] The ACTUAL Truth About Q Anon

Here’s the truth about Q Anon. It was a government conspiracy designed to keep Trump voters at home while the political establishment installed Dictator Joe Biden.

Why else would the constant Q Anon slogan be “2 more weeks”? Just wait two more weeks, MAGA. Patriots are in control. Trump is monitoring everything from a SCIF. So don’t bother doing anything to change the system. Just sit your fat Trump-voting ass at home and chew your Velveeta cud while you watch TV.

That’s what Q Anon is.

But like any good conspiracy theory, they load it up with a few truths. The stuff about every politician and Hollywood celebrity being a pedo is correct. If you disagree, just go the fuck away. How much evidence needs to stare you in the face? You’ve had enough time to learn this shit by now. It’s too late in the game for you to be so far behind.

👏Catch👏the👏fuck👏up👏because👏it’s👏not👏that👏damn👏hard👏and👏you👏are👏just👏being👏a👏lazy👏bitch👏by👏deliberately👏refusing👏to👏keep👏up👏with👏the👏conversation!!👏

Back to Congressman Adam Smith, Traitorous Bitch

So anyway, Adam Smith (not that one) was peeing his pants as he sat on a plane filled with MAGA people.

“Smith, who had just had his first vaccine shot, sat with his mask on, not saying a word as the raw chatter continued. If I’m ever going to catch the coronavirus, he though, this would be the time.”

Adam is in his 50s, so there’s still plenty of time for him to rot in prison with Elissa Slotkin. Vote for me and I’ll lock him in a cage.

MAGA Are Racists!!!!!!!

“As the flight progressed across the country, white supremacist and anti-semitic talk continued unabated.”

Uh, no, that’s a fucking lie. MAGA voters are overwhelmingly leftist in their racial views. There are a few actual racists on the right, but none of them went to J6.

Racists didn’t go to J6 because they’re accelerationists.

I need to emphasize this point more:

RACISTS
DID
NOT
GO
TO
J6
BECAUSE
THEY
ARE
ACCELERATIONISTS
YOU
STUPID
IGNORANT
LEFTWING
BUTTHOLES

Racists were ridin’ with Biden because, as the theory went, he would hasten the collapse whereas Trump would slow it down. Accelerationists just want to rip off the band-aid.

Trump is an impediment to collapse.

This stuff is easy to understand when you’re not an idiot.

A Hilarious Conspiracy Theory

Let’s wrap this article up with a leftwing conspiracy theory that will make you laugh yourself to death:

“One member of Congress said he was worried that Trump was going to steal Air Force One in his last days, fly it to Moscow and sell U.S. secrets to Putin.”

LOOK AT THAT FUCKING SENTENCE.

That is what passes as a credible conspiracy theory on the left.

At the risk of blasphemy: HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHAT A STUPID FUCKING THEORY.

First of all, you have to be clinically braindead to think Trump would steal Air Force One. Second, you have to be double braindead to think he would sell secrets to Putin.

Here’s another hilarious conspiracy from our “honorable” congressmen: They thought Trump would stop law enforcement from protecting Biden.

That’s funny. You mean like how the Dems stopped Secret Service from protecting Trump, and therefore opening him up to multiple assassination attempts in 2024?

Like that?

Was Trump gonna fill Biden’s security detail with fat, incompetent 5’2’’ women?

Cuz the fucking Dems did that to Trump. They wanted you to see Trump get his head blown off on live television because it would demoralize you.

Every accusation from the left is an admission. They are Machiavellian mongrels of the highest order.

Anyway, I’ll be back on Wednesday with another banger for your eyeballs.

Question of the day:

Who’s your favorite J6 traitor?

I think mine is Mark Milley just because I can imagine him crying his eyes out over fake bullshit. “Guatemalan orphans are only getting 23 covid shots per second instead of the requisite 27 shots! What a horrible injustice!!”

Runner up might be Trump. The swamp stole an election from his voters and put him in the role of Caesar, but he was too scared to cross the Rubicon, so he let the National Guard arrest all his most loyal supporters and imprison them for years.

How about you?